Saturday, January 2, 2016

Honestly uncomfortable.

I'm over saying, "Fine." or lying, "Great!" whenever someone asks me how I'm liking Toronto. Lately I've been completely honest. More than once I've embraced my inner Debbie Downer and uttered the phrase, "I've never been more unhappy in my entire life." The first time time I said it out loud it surprised me. Honesty is uncomfortable.

Sometimes the conversation ends right there and I get a nervous, "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that."

Sometimes people laugh out loud at my unexpected response. They offer an impromptu pep talk and that moment of connection lifts my spirits for the day. Note to self: Be that moment for someone else.

People from British Columbia get it though. When I tell them we moved from the Pacific Northwest we bond over visions of Vancouver and Victoria and pine trees and mountains and coastlines and how the air is  different there. They confide how hard it was for them when they first relocated to the other side of Canada and they promise it gets better (but confess the yearning never goes away).

Being honest allows other people to be honest for the first time too. Sometimes people tell me about how sad and stuck they were once and how they got over it. Sometimes it's not who you would expect. Every story helps me put things into perspective. With every connection I become a little less uncomfortable.

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