This is how we'll get out of here...

Moving to Toronto was the biggest mistake we ever made.  Now what? Right now we're stuck.  One year from now I hope to be unstuck, in a new place, with meaningful work and a nice house with a yard and garden and some friends... what we had in Seattle; what we gave up to be here.

Why did we leave?   I'm still trying to piece that back together. Suffice it to say we followed a dream that turned into a nightmare as soon as we got to Toronto. The good news is I am almost over the grieving part. I'm ready to chase our next adventure wherever it may lead us. I have faith we'll end up where we're meant to be, eventually.

Here are my goals for the new year:
 

1. Go three consecutive days without crying, spontaneously, at the slightest reminder of how much I miss my old life. My record is two days right now. I'm able to pull myself back together more quickly now too, rather than succumbing to heaving sobs on the couch. This is progress.

2. Recognize happiness when it happens. Seek experiences to make us like this place more.  Try to find humor in this hell.

3. Realize this is not hell. No one died. Everyone is healthy and relatively happy, despite the circumstances. Our situation is not fatal. We will recover what we lost.

4. Spend less time sifting through cyber stimuli and staring at other people's lives.  Spend less time crushing candies and more time making a better life in the real world.

5. Keep doing kokoleo. Make a new website, find a new venue and lighten my inventory.

6. Find another city to live in (preferably one that's cheaper with houses that have better backyards). Visit that city ahead of time. Make sure the job is legit before we move there and also factor in the cost of living. Call ahead to see if they have mountains.

7. Be somewhere better this time next year.

8. Start over from scratch and then carve out a niche. Create the community I want to see.

9. Find joy in the struggle.

10. Write about it along the way.